The BAM List

The BAM Story
Mission Statement: Two Chicks On a Mission to Improve “Man” Kind, or Find a Kind Man

So we put our heads and hearts together and created a list of statements to support female solidarity and empowerment. Statements as women of what we are not accepting from men anymore.

You want to be in my life, you need to Be A Man

In the “new” age of technology, women have allowed impersonal communication to enter our relationships. In the past, to escape rejection, confrontation, or even talking, men used the safety of answering machines often for the simple mission of asking for a date.

Text messaging has permitted men to continue to connect without any risk of personal contact. They have taken the art of avoidance to a whole new level.

Well, we are not accommodating this behavior anymore!

Be A Man - Don’t Text Me, Call Me

Often you are at a bar standing with your girl friends minding your own business when a single male approaches. He chats, he flirts, and yes, he asks for your number.

You went to the bar with no expectations of meeting anyone, but he changed that. He spiked your interest. He raised your hopes. And he doesn’t call. Why did he ask for your number if he had no intention of calling? Is it an ego thing? Did he do it to impress the crowd? Did he do it because he thought you needed to have your number asked for? We really don’t know.

So next time you are asked for your number; give it to him; be sure to tell him:

Be A Man - You Took My Number… Now Use It

Remember when ladies used to have to stand on the side of the cotillion dance floor and wait for a man to ask her to dance? They would exchange eye contact and smiles all night long. If he didn’t advance, a whole night of getting to know each other was wasted. Do you remember?

Oh yeah! That was last night!

I will approach you. I will speak to you. I will ask you to dance. I will take the risk.

You will bungee jump. You will white water raft. You will ride a motorcycle without a helmet. But you won’t take the chance to talk to me in a bar?

Be A Man - You Can Approach Me

It is Saturday and you do your separate things. He plays basketball with his friends. You shop all day with yours, but make plans to meet at 7:00pm for drinks.

You come to the bar ready for a night out. He arrives still covered in sweat. You wouldn’t have cared if he were late because he stopped home to shower. But do you really have to tell him that?

No, you need to tell him, Be A Man - Make An Effort

We all know her, or have been her ourselves. The one who tells her man:

“No, go with the guys. Don’t worry about me. You have fun. I’m fine.”

We all know that isn’t what she means. She isn’t happy. She isn’t satisfied. Why does she continue to let him put her needs after his needs? Girl it is time to STOP! You and your desires are important. Stand up for yourself and what you want. Next time he assumes you are pleased with the same routine; tell him…

Be A Man - I Come First
(This can apply to multiple situations….)

Sugar and spice and everything nice
That’s what little girls are made of
Snips and snails and puppy dogs’ tails
That’s what little boys are made of

We are female and we really can’t help it if we cry. Tears are a physical release of emotions. If I cry during a break up, that doesn’t mean I want you to stay and try working it out. I am crying because of the overwhelming emotions of the situation.

If we argue and I cry, it is not a maneuver on my part to manipulate the fight and make you give in. My goal is not to win a disagreement by default. How is that a victory?

If it appears my world is falling apart and I am crying, this shouldn’t be your undoing. I know you have been raised to be tough and to be the protector, but you can’t fix everything. You should not be afraid of my tears. They might not be a direct result of your actions. I am a woman and I cry because of happiness, fear, anger, pain, frustration, and joy.

If you see a tear, stay and be strong. Be A Man - My Tears Are Not Kryptonite

Enough Said!

Be A Man - Real Women Come In All Sizes

I had the largest lemonade stand on the block. I was captain of my Division I college basketball team. I started as an administrative assistant and I am now up for partner. It has been a long process and I have worked hard to get here. I am strong, I am independent, and I know what I want.

I want to be with you.

So Be A Man - Don’t Be Afraid Of My Success

Yes, I said I am successful. Sure, it was me who said I am independent. But can’t you Be A Man and recognize that there are times I can’t do it on my own and I need you to save the day? So dust off that cape, pull on those tights, bang out those dents in your ego, and rescue me.

Because, Sometimes I Need A Hero

The “fun” bad boy; he has that edge that keeps you coming back for more even though you know better. The guy who calls at 2:00am and you let him come over. Never asking where he has been all night.

He flirts with the waitress and when you get upset he says, “What?”

The relationship gods are throwing red flags left and right, but you decide that those red flags really aren’t all that red. Maybe they’re a lighter shade of pink. And a pink flag can be changed. Right?

Well, no flags are being changed until you yell “stop!”

When he calls at 2:00am, tell him he is welcome to come tomorrow at a respectable hour. And if he wants to come in, he needs to…

Be A Man - Leave The Player At The Door