The BAM Story

The BAM List started on a bright summer morning over brunch with my girlfriends at a local NYC neighborhood café. As people passed us on the busy streets, we sat discussing relationships, men, and love, and wondered if our search for the perfect man shouldn’t be changed to the search for the perfect relationship. As we sipped our tea, we realized it wasn’t the men we were dating that were wrong, but it was our philosophy about what we were willing to give up to have a man. We were allowing the men we were dating to only half show up to our relationships. We were bending rules. We were ignoring red flags and calling them pink. We were overlooking that we are strong, independent women, and that we don’t want a man to complete our lives, we want a man to add to them.

So realizing that it was us girls and our strong-willed philosophy which needed to change, we started jotting down dating experiences that should have brought the relationships to a dead stop and yet, we had driven over them like a speed bump.  The more we wrote, the more we laughed.  There was a lot of adding, deleting, questioning, and debating.  We didn’t worry if our wants were considered old fashioned or contemporary.  Were we wrong in our wanting a man to open the door for us?  Were we crazy to want our number to be taken and then asked out on a proper date?  Was it simply too much to expect a man to still be a man when we are strong women and don’t always need him to save the day?  In our quest for love, we had forgotten that we still wanted them to be a man.  Reviewing our newly formed list, we realized that this was all we were asking.  Now we have that list to remind us what we want. We are only asking the men in our lives to be a man.

I know that I am not alone in this search.  Other women need this list.  So please, enjoy the site, share on the message board, and proudly shout out to the world the BAM girl that you are!

Wishing you luck in love,

Angelica L. Aguirre
Chick on a Mission to Improve “Man” Kind or Find a Kind Man™